WHAT DO BEREAVED CHILDREN NEED-PART 2.

• REASSURANCE THAT THERE WILL BE SOMEONE TO LOOK AFTER THEM - one of the most basic fears of children is that of being abandoned. The death of a loved one may cause a child to question their basic security and wonder whether the people they love may die. They may then ask parents who would look after them if they died - although this may be difficult, the best response would be to list who would look after the child - Grandma and Grandad, and if they died, Aunty Jane and Uncle Charlie, and then Aunty Joan, and then Uncle George etc. This just reminds the child that there are lots of people who love them and who could care for them, and help them to re-gain a sense of security.
• HELP WITH OTHER LOSSES - the family will be very different after the death of a loved one. There may be relatives they no longer see, the family might have to move house and school, there may be less money coming in and so on. All these changes could affect a child's sense of stability. The death of a sibling will also alter the family set up - a middle child becoming the oldest or the youngest, a child becoming the only boy or girl in the family or an only child etc. Such changes in family circumstances often create stress for the whole family - if the changes and how people feel about them are shared and talked about, it may help everyone to adapt to the new situation together in an open and supportive manner.
• SUPPORT - when parents and carers are dealing with their own grief, supporting the children may be even more difficult. Family and friends may be able to help here as well as the school, local community groups and support agencies. Sometimes it is difficult for families to admit that they need help - but when everyone is trying to cope with their own grief it is sometimes not possible to support each other as well. Families should be supported to understand that the death of a loved one is the most difficult and awful experience that any person has to live through, and that asking for help at such a time is a very brave, undertstandable and responsible thing to do.

After the death of a loved person a family may not need any particular help in managing their grief - they may just need friends and family to offer love and kindness and some basic practical help. Parents will usually know what's best for their own children and be able to support them in all circumstances. If parents are having to manage thir own grief as well they may just need some help and advice. This information is provided here for people who want to help, or for families who may need a little bit of assistance and guidance. We hope you find it useful.